Misuse of Muggle Artifacts
by MissWitch250
Summary: A series of One-shots containing wizards and witches of Harry Potter, and the everyday parts of Muggle lives
1. Muggle Shops

Misuse of Muggle Artifacts

A series of Harry Potter One-shot Crackfics!

Muggle Shops.

Arthur Weasley was fond of Muggles. No, that wasn't quite right. He was fond of their everyday appliances. To find out how toasters worked and televisions operated was his dream, and his obsession (not that he would admit it). His strange hobby drove his wife mad, was a funny quirk to his children, and was a complete joke to his fellow employees at the ministry, but that didn't matter to him. He loved muggle artifacts.

But, despite his minor obsession, Arthur Weasley had only ever stepping into a muggle shop several times. The first time was when he was twenty years old, and was days away from being a father to his first born child...

* * *

><p>Arthur Weasley stepped into the small shop in fear and excitement. His grey hat was being wrung in his hands tightly in his nervousness as he looked around at the shelves on the bright pastel coloured walls.<p>

Small and soft stuffed animal toys were lined on the shelves in light colours of blues, yellows, pinks, and purples; blankets of fleece hung from hangers, ranging in patters from yellow ducks to white fluffy clouds; an entire half of the store was dedicated to cribs and small beds, 'guaranteed to not break despite any tantrum'; and a whole wall was covered in small electronics.

The store was for families with new born children either waiting at home, or on the way, and it had everything a muggle family would want for their child's safety and comfort. Wizarding families, however, had no need for most of the things in the cozy little shop.

In the wizarding world, parents could buy their children stuffed animals that would sing and dance on queue; blankets that would sing lullabies, and were soaked in every kind of potion imaginable that would help children sleep, and some that would cure the common cold; beds that were bewitched to rock themselves, and had little light shows if the children were restless in bed; and wizarding families had no use for baby monitors since they had spells that were just as effective (and most families didn't quite understand electricity). So really, there was no reason for _any_ witch or wizard to enter a muggle shop for muggle infants and buy their muggle appliances that were completely obsolete in the wizarding world, but that was exactly was Arthur was doing.

'Excuse me, may I help you?' A young woman walked up to the red headed man with a large smile on her face and a name tag on her black vest.

'A yes…' Arthur leaned forward to read the tiny print on the name tag, and tried to hide his nervousness. 'Mindy. Err... My wife is about to have our first, and I was wondering what you'd expec- err suggest I buy?' Arthur corrected himself quickly and began to feel very foolish, but Mindy didn't seem to mind.

'First time? Well no wonder you look so flustered. A lot of first time dad's come in looking like they just walked into another world, not quite sure what to look for or buy.' The cheerful brunette explained, and Arthur gave a small smile. He was thankful that he was able to fit in with the muggle fathers, and not seem like a complete idiot.

'Okay, well I have a general idea of what to get. We already have a crib, and the bottles and blankets and clothing. But I was wondering what else I should get.' Arthur listed off the things he and his wife had purchased only a month before. As he finished his list, Mindy's eyes lightened, and a smile broke out once more.

'Well I think you still need a baby monitor.'

'You mean it runs on ecklectricity?' The red haired wizard asked, suddenly getting very excited. Over the course of several years, Arthur had developed somewhat of a large interest in muggle artifacts, but never had the chance to own any. He had taken out many books on how to work waffle makers, and telephones, and even had blueprints for a motorcycle, but never had first had experience. The chance to own a small, muggle-made device almost made Arthur giddy.

'Err… yes. Electricity. They work like walkie-talkies, but only one way. You place one monitor near the baby's crib, and the other you keep with yourself, and then if you're baby cries or wakes up, you'll hear him or her, but they won't hear you.' Arthur didn't know what Walkie-talkies were, but the baby monitor sounded absolutely fantastic. The only thing the wizarding world had that was even close to it was a spell that alarmed you when someone moved in a certain area. Most witches placed the charm around the baby's crib. Unfortunately, the charm was extremely sensitive. If the baby so much as rolled in it's sleep, the parent was informed, and would run up to the crib, only to find that their child was still fast asleep and completely safe.

Agreeing to the notion of a baby monitor, Mindy grabbed a small white one from the second shelf on the wall, and brought Arthur over to the check in to ring it up (Arthur was intrigued by the cash register).

'That'll be ten and fifteen..' Arthur nodded as he fiddled with the muggle money in his wallet. He had gone to Gringotts earlier that day to make a muggle exchange for exactly that reason, but couldn't quite remember what the notes meant. As he fingered a twenty, he thought back to the stuffies and blankets just behind him.

'Hold on. I'll be right back.' Held by a sudden inspiration, Arthur hurried to the side of the store where all the soft things were stored. Reaching up, he grabbed two things, and headed back to the counter.

'Okay… that'll make it twenty even.' Mindy smiled and handed out her hand. Hoping for a shred of luck, Arthur held out the folded note in his wallet. Mindy looked at it and smiled.

'Twenty even. Enjoy your day.' Arthur let out a sigh of relief, and grabbed his bag of goods. Once outside the store and a good way down the street so that nobody would see him, he apparated home.

The house wasn't much. Just to have a large enough property for a wizarding family, and away from the general muggle population was a hard find. Most of his options didn't come cheap, and the Weasley's weren't one of the more well-off families. Molly knew that when she had married Arthur, and for that the red haired wizard was grateful, but there was still the issue of a home. In the end, they had settled on a small home on the outside of Ottery St. Catchpole. It wasn't _technically_ a house, either. It was an old pigpen. From what Arthur was told, was that the pigpen _used_ to have a little Tudor building connected to it, but those days were no more. Now it was just the pigpen on a large piece of property that was surrounded nicely by large evergreens and an alder or two.

When Arthur had shown Molly the small 'home', he had expected her to be disappointed, or even angry at his choices, but he had been wrong. Instead, the small woman had been positively gleeful at the trees and landscape. The small pigpen didn't even discouraged her, claiming that they could 'make it work'.

And make it work they did. Before long, Molly had adjusted the pigpen so that it actually resembled a house. A proper roof had been put on top, windows had been installed, and every single house-hold need was satisfied within a week. There was only one bedroom, but that was fine. The child would stay in their bedroom and if more room was needed later on... they would manage.

So Arthur walked into his no longer pigpen looking house to be greeted by his heavily pregnant wife.

"Hello Hon, good day at work?" Molly Weasley asked cheerfully from behind a huge, rounded stomach, her face beaming.

"Yes yes. Quite good." Arthur placed the bag of muggle goods behind him. He knew that his wife wasn't that fond of his hobby. He could tell right at once that she wouldn't be too impressed by the baby monitor, and knew that it would be best to suggest the idea to her later. If she said yes, then he would have something new to test out. If she said no, well... he could always take the time to take it apart to see how it worked. It was a win-win situation.

"Why were you home later than usual?" Molly questioned once she had seated herself comfortably on the worn out loveseat in the living room. Her soft brown eyes looked at his in curiosity, and Arthur fumbled with his words.

"Oh well... I went shopping for one or two things."

"Oh, which shops?"

"Ah. Er..." Arthur trailed off, unsure of whether he should tell the truth or not. He hated lying to his wife, but Molly in a temper was a fearful thing to face.

"Arthur. What shop?" Molly Weasley's once kind and soft face turned stony in an instant her husband showed any hesitation. She wasn't fond of his muggle obsession, but she put up with it, and would continue to. It was a part of him, and she loved every bit, but sometimes... it tended to get ridiculous.

Giving a great sigh, Arthur pulled out the small bag from behind him and grabbed the baby monitor. He knew when it was better to argue, and when it was best to just come out honest.

"I went into a muggle baby shop, and bought this. It's called a baby monitor, and it let's you hear your baby when you're away from it. It's one-way, so it won't hear you also and wake up." Arthur smiled weakly as he handed the blue and white device over to his wife. Molly looked over the small objects with minor interest, and Arthur thought it was safe to continue.

"Apparently muggle parents use them to keep their kids safe. They can hear if the baby's awake, or if they've fallen, and the cashier told me of cases where they saved children who were about to suffocate." Molly looked up at her husband, startled and fearful as she thought of her unborn child. The idea of a suffocating baby was never good, and Arthur seemed to had realized his mistake and reached once more into the bag.

"I also bought these, dear." He gave a small smile as he pulled out the remaining contents of a bag. In one hand was the small, duck patterned blanket that Arthur had seen in the shop, and in the other, a small, blue stuffed teddy bear. It's black beaded eyes stared up at Molly, and her breath caught in her throat.

"Oh, Arthur." Molly cooed, and hugged her husband tightly when he leaned towards her. Pulling away slowly, the brown eyed witch glanced down at the soft bear in her husbands hands. It was the cutest thing she had ever seen, and softer than anything.

"You know, those baby toys with potions and whatnot in them are just too... artificial. The kid could get so dependent on them for sleep..." Molly Weasley spoke with a smile on her face, and her husband beamed back at her. She didn't always agree on her husband's obsessions, but the baby monitor... it seemed like a good idea.


	2. Muggle Post

Muggle Post

'Sweetie? Are you listening?' A young woman with light brown hair nudged her husband lightly with her elbow, her hands full with their ten month old son. Dudley Dursley shook himself from his inner musings, and immediately helped his wife, Sofie, with the baby, which was what she wanted.

'Sorry about that.' Dudley apologized as he shifted his son, Michael, in his arms. 'Thoughts sort of wandered off.' And that was the truth. For the first time in nearly eight years, Dudley had been thinking about his cousin, someone who he hadn't seen for the whole nineteen years that Dudley hadn't thought about him. In Dudley's defense, a lot had happened in those years. Only four months after leaving their home of twenty years, his father, Vernon had suffered from a heart attack, and leaving his wife a widow. Only a few months later, Dudley had met Sofie, and had gotten married. Now he was twenty six, and starting a family of his own.

The Dursley boy looked at his son lovingly. Though he had been a robust child, and an even larger infant, Michael seemed to be tiny, with long limbs, and a large head. Dudley was sure that his son had gained his figure from Sofie's side of the family. The woman was tall and slender, and the blonde boy knew that he was lucky to have her.

With a warm smile, the woman of his dreams returned from the front hall, the morning mail in her hands. With a small upward glance and a soft smirk, the young woman sifted through the letters and bills, before pausing, a look of confusion clear on her face.

'What in the world is this?' The thin brunette puzzled over an envelope of thick parchment, addressed to her husband in hand-written ink. Dudley stared at the envelope in his wife's hands in amazement. He could remember clearly the letter given so long ago to his cousin, at his eleventh birthday, and nearly every birthday after that over the years. Though he knew what sort of person would sent such an old-fashioned letter, he had never told Sofie.

'Who's it addressed to?' Dudley spoke up, giving a fleeting glance to his son, wondering. His cousin had strange letters addressed to him, and it wasn't so unlikely that his own son could as well.

'It's addressed to you.' Sofie explained. 'From a Mr. Potter.' Sofie laughed at the peculiarity of the whole situation, and Dudley nearly jumped at the name. Quickly placing Michael in his high chair, he grasped the letter from his wife's hands, opened the envelope, and began to read.

_Dear Dudley,_

_I'm not sure how to start this letter, it being so long since we have spoken, but I have only just heard about Uncle Vernon. I know it's late, but I felt that I had to give my condolences. He had given me a home, and though we never really got along until the end, he was still my uncle, and you are still my cousin. _

_I heard that you are now married, and have a son. Well, I guess that makes two of us. My wife is named Ginny, and we have two sons, both two and three, and Ginny is pregnant with child number three. _

_I was wondering if we could get together some time? To catch up, and introduce our families? I understand if I'm askign too much, but if you could give me a response, please know that it would be much appreciated. _

_Your cousin, Harry._

Dudley stared at the letter in silence for a long time. Holding Michael on her hip, Sofie read over his shoulder, her hazel eyes scanning the page thoughtfully.

'I never knew that you had a cousin? And it says that he lived with you for a little while.' Sofie scanned the parchment once more. Dudley thought in silence, not sure of what to do. Throughout his childhood, he lived in terror of Harry, though he would never admit it. The thought of what his smaller, younger cousin could do to him had filled his mind, and fueled his rage towards the skinny boy. But that was in the beginning. Near the end, he had understood his cousin more, and when he was fifteen, his cousin's abnormality had actually saved him.

'Do we have any stationery?' Dudley spoke up suddenly, his tone almost urgent. Startled at the sudden urgency, the tiny wife scurried around the house, looking for a paper and pen. The moment she found some, Dudley went to work composing a response. He worked in silence, his wife watching and waiting. When he had finished (a feat that took longer than expected, due to his hatred for the written word), Dudley quickly licked on a postage stamp, ran out the door, and mailed the letter, all without a word. When he came back, he placed Michael on his high chair, and asked Sofie to sit down with him at the kitchen table.

'What was all that about?' Sofie questioned as Dudley held her hand from across the table. With a nervous smile, her husband explained himself.

'I offered to have my cousin over next month. I'm sorry I never told you about him, but I wasn't sure how to go about doing so. You see... Harry Potter is... abnormal.' And Dudley spent the day telling his young wife about his childhood with Harry Potter. About growing a tail when he was eleven; about being followed around by a group of invisible people, just so they could give his cousin a letter; about his Aunt Marge blowing up like a balloon in his kitchen; how a group of red-haired strangers appeared in his chimney; and how Harry Potter had saved his life.


End file.
